She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so explain again why im purple
no
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
