halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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