I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
