do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
