They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
