i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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