my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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