wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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