i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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