Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm always down for nudity.
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