the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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