Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
