all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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