hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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