Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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