Where is the hickey?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize