I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
