So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
