Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
