She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
