Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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