yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
