I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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