He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
