Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
