Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
