i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
