I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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