The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
