just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
