are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
