You're completely useless in the revolution.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
They have beer where we have blood.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
