the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
