so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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