Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize