The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you would pick up someone in the library
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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