i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
