3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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