I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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