Dual....:-)
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
