I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
