dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
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i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
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All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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