a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
