Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
