her facebook's as public as her vagina
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
