Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
