I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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