Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
