im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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