it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
