So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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