Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
