so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
