everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
