Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
this boner is exhausting
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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