Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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