no you cant smoke seaweed
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
