R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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