party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
