Are we in a gay sports bar?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
