New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I should be sponsored by Trojan
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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