you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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