dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
